Dowry or Jahaiz makes the girl acceptable and conventional depending on the amount of it brought by the girl. The larger the amount is, the more conventional the girl becomes.
Is there any such concept in Islam?
Had this been practiced by our Holy Prophet s.a.w? Whose footsteps a Muslim is bound to follow? I don’t find any such concept in the close vicinity to Quran and Sunnah.
What Islam suggests is, when the girl gets married, she is on the receiving end. She receives a gift; a dower or a marital gift, which is called as ‘Meher’ and it is mentioned in the Glorious Qur’an in Surah Al-Nisaa, Chapter 4, Verse Number 4 which says:
‘Give to the woman in dower, a marital gift’
For a marriage to solemnize in Islam, ‘Meher’ is compulsory. There are various cultures which have crept into the Muslim societies, specially in the Indo-Pak area, they give a small amount of ‘Meher ’ and they expect the wife to get a fridge, T.V, A.C, bedroom set, car, house furniture and even a plot or a house these days. A husband demanding dowry from the wife, directly or indirectly is prohibited in Islam. If the parents of the girl give the girl something out of their own free will, it is accepted. A Muslim father is told to get her daughter married away in a most simple ‘Nikah’ ceremony solemnized by a ‘Qazi’ (priest) in a mosque, witnessed by his close relatives and friends. He is not even required to throw a luncheon to the handful of invitees assembled for this occasion. In fact it is desirable on the part of the groom that he offers a reception (Waleema) to his near & dear ones without forgetting the poor people of his society.
The Prophet (pbuh) said:
"The best of the marriages is one which is least burdensome in the financial sense to the families of the bride and the groom"
Hazrat Ali r.a and Fatima r.a exemplify a perfect marriage ceremony which goes like:
After Prophet Muhammed s.a.w had got Fatima r.a’s silent consent for this marriage, he (pbuh) went to Hazrat Ali and asked: "Do you possess anything (which you can pay for the dowry) to marry Fatima?"
Imam Ali R.A answered: "May my parents be your sacrifice! By Allah, there is not a thing of my affairs hidden from you; I own my sword, shield and the camel which I use for irrigation!"
Indeed, this was everything that Ali possessed in this world when he was about to get married!
Allah’s Messenger S.A.W open-heartedly listened to Ali and said:
"Ali, you cannot do without your sword, for you have to struggle with it and defend yourself against the enemies of Allah. As for your camel, you need is to irrigate palm trees and supports your family, and you need it as a means of travel. But I accept the shield as a dowry from you; thus sell it and bring me the money!"
This was the Islamic aspect of the ‘dowry’ ; which these days have been an issue of high intensity. The practice of dowry among ignorant Muslims is a result of the stimulus of the evil practices of the society they dwell in. Islam does not enforce any financial burden on the father of the girl. Though there is certainly no harm in giving gifts happily to the bride from her home.
But these days “Dowry” has been made a standard for marriage. People first inquire shamelessly if the bride’s parents are able to afford a huge dowry of large intensity. If they can not, no matter how educated, well-mannered, sophisticated the girl may be, she remains unmarried. A large number of girls are sitting at their homes despite of being a gem in their self just because they can’t afford a gigantic ‘Jahaiz’ to feed the greedy groom. The most irksome aspect of this custom is that, this is set by the people who don’t even need dowry to run their homes or support the grooms in anyway. When the educated bourgeoisie class leans forwards, the uneducated ones’ can only be expected to follow.
“Dowry” in our society also decides the fate of the ‘daughter in laws’. If the girl has not brought a massive amount of dowry, she is maltreated, taunted and criticized by the in laws wholeheartedly.
Human rights Commission of Pakistan (HRCP) has reported many incidents that are labeled 'dowry death', i.e., the bride has been murdered because she did not bring a sufficient amount of dowry with her. In India there are close to 15,000 dowry deaths estimated per year. Mostly it is presumed that the woman died because of a kitchen fire and they are passed off as accidents. Height of Ignorance!
In this materialistic world people are running blindly towards things that will be eaten by worms. It has become a status symbol but their little game is ruining the lives of the poorer girls. They don’t realize the real, actual and the ideal 'dowry' of a girl, lies in her education, character, honour, dignity and the ‘tarbiyat’ that she brings from her home! What’s the use of an immense dowry if it can not bring a single happy moment in your life? Futile!
At this crucial time, our society is suffering from severe poverty. People are massively dying of hunger, poverty and illiteracy. The well offs keep on complaining of being low on finance yet they spend lacs’ when it comes to ‘dowry’ just for the sake of maintaining an absurd custom which doesn’t have any Islamic aspect either. In spite of a consensus on disliking the practice, only a few have the courage to disown it.
If we contribute even a few thousands, abandoning this ridiculous practice, several schools, education institutes’, hospitals, charity centers, welfare centers etc can be constructed gradually.
Even a number of needy, destitute girls can be married if you save a gigantic amount you apt to spend for the dowry of your daughter, sister or if you intend to demand it from your wife.
Do you have the courage to break the idol of ‘dowry’ prevalent in your society? Perhaps your step, though at individual level, can be the beginning of the end to this satanic custom. So ready to be an Idol breaker?!
Xharaf Vsm
Pakistan Cyber Force
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